Who am I?
An exploration of the pronoun I, and what we refer to when we use it.
The question “who am I?” is a fascinating question to ask and ponder about. What do we mean when we say “I”?
A friend might ask: “want to grab some food after work?”
And, you might reply: “yes, I am hungry”.
What is in my control?
For me (the objective case of I) to be hungry, I must think I am the hungry body. In a sense, I identify with the hungry body.
I becomes the hungry body.
However, I can only control movement in the body and I can use the mind to think — and, that’s the extent to which I have control over the body, and the mind.
Everything else is a process beyond my control.
The mind unconsciously intuits that the body, and the world we perceive is a process. The mind seeks to attach itself, to identify with, to become something as a way to gain a sense of control.
Even if that sense of control is an illusion.
And so, I become the hunger when I feel the sensation of hunger in the body.
The body and mind are a process, a happening
Am I the strands of DNA in each cell that expresses and represses genes without my control? Am I the trillions of ribosomes synthesizing polypeptides that function without my control? Am I the trillions of cells that communicate with each other, and function without my control? Like hunger, are these additional attachments I’ve created to build a sense of self?
Am I the mind? What is the mind? The mind processes information from sensory organs to perceive (hear, taste, touch, smell, see, feel).
That means each species, with its unique mind and set of sensory organs, filters reality.
I can’t control which thought appears next. I cannot control how the organs, the cells, and the ribosomes in the body function. If the body and mind are a process, a happening, outside my control — am I the body, am I the mind?
No one ever tells us who we are. No one ever tells us what we are. We have no wise elders to guide us in our exploration of ourself, of reality, and our relationship to it.
How might I square this process, this happening, with the sense that I feel I’ve always been the same?
I am not this, and not that
In part, the confusion we have over who or what we are is the outcome of the limitations of our language. We don’t have words for wordlessness. We don’t have words for who or what we are. For what we really mean we refer to ourselves as I
What I am not
I have thoughts, but I am not my thoughts. I am aware of thoughts.
I have feelings, but I am not my feelings. I am aware of feelings.
I have perceptions, but I am not my perceptions. I am aware of perceptions.
I have sensations, but I am not my sensations. I am aware of sensations.
I have a body, but I am not my body. I am aware of the body.
The invitation
I invite you to explore this fascinating question for yourselves.
who am I?